Pillar of Light
by neesah
Summary: Van is getting married. Hitome is getting married. What the heck is going on? Is this an unhappily ever after fic?


Pillar of Light   
  
**Disclaimer: ** I don't own Gundam Wing --- err, I mean Escaflowne (oops, I got used to writing GW fanfics). Hehe, my mistake.   
  
Finally, I made my first Escaflowne fic. Though I know that everything in this fic is cliched (sorry, I just can't help myself), I hope that I made it interesting enough for you to enjoy. For comments, suggestions or reviews you can email me at raizenheero@aol.com .   
  
  


**Pillar of Light**   


by Neesah   
  
  
** On Gaea… **  
  


"Lord Van, you have to understand. Now that you're 21, the people are more persistent in clamoring for a Queen. And an heir," his head advisor told him. "You're young and healthy, true, but it's never too early to be planning for the future. It'll be in the best interest of both you and Fanelia if you marry as soon as possible."

Van remained facing the window, his eyes silently fixed at the sky where two moons could be seen, as if by staring at them he could find the answer to all of his problems. His advisor was right, as usual. It was his duty as King to marry and produce an heir, thereby securing Fanelia's throne and future. Though he knew that he managed to avoid getting married for the last 4 years and if he tried, he could still avoid getting married soon, he couldn't possibly continue on procrastinating forever. Sooner or later, he had to give in to the inevitable. He had to get married, he **would** get married, whether he likes to or not, to a woman he may or may not love. Without looking back, Van replied, "Alright. I'll get married. But give me one day before you start inviting every eligible Princess in Gaea here in Fanelia for a ball of sorts. I have to take care of something first."

"Of course, sire." 

"Good. If that's all, you may leave now." Soon after, Van heard the door to his study gently closed as his head advisor left. He heaved a big sigh. _There's no turning back now, _ he thought. Clutching the pendant hanging from his neck, he continued to stare at the Mystic Moon, his mind conjuring up an image of a brown-haired girl with green eyes. "Hitomi…" 

  
  
**On Earth… **  
  


Hitomi alternately stared at the velvet box and the feather on top of her dresser table. She really didn't know what to do. After she returned from Gaea, she told her story to Yukari and Amano, whom, by the way, decided to just stay in their school and not go with his parents. Shortly after that, Amano and Yukari became a couple. The two, seeing how sad Hitomi became after the Gaea incident, made it their mission to make her happy, always going out with her, setting her up on dates. That was when they met Maru, a transfer student. Maru reminded Hitomi of Van. They had the same built and the same wild hair, though Van's leaned towards being bluish-black while Maru's was jet-black. And his eyes were green, the same shade as hers. He was sweet, funny, smart, responsible and for the past 6 years, the two of them grew closer. But their relationship was not that clear to either of them. It was a little over the line of friendship but still not on lovers' territory as well. They went out on dates, they went to all the social and family gatherings together but they didn't kiss or make out. Well, they kissed but in a chaste and friendly way. Though she somehow knew that Maru had feelings for her and she, to some extent, began to develop some feelings for him too, she didn't know how to react or what to reply when he proposed to her last night. She could feel that Maru was hurt when she told him that she had to think about it first but he still agreed to her terms. She could clearly remember the hurt, love and hope mirrored in his eyes when he insisted that she take the ring with her as she thought of his proposal. 

  
  


**************************FLASHBACK**************************

  


"I understand, Hitomi," Maru said, holding her hand. "Take all the time you need. Throughout these years that we've known each other, I had this feeling that something or someone is holding you back. I'm not asking that you tell me all about it. What I'm trying to say is that I love you and I'll honor any decision you'll make."

****************************END FLASHBACK*********************

  
  


Maru was everything she could hope for a boyfriend or a husband. And if circumstances were different, she wouldn't think twice in saying yes to his proposal. But that wasn't the case. Even with all of his good qualities, even if he came close to being perfect, for her, Maru still had one flaw. He was simply not Van. 

  


"Van…" Hitomi whispered, a small smile forming on her lips as she delicately touched the white feather in front of her. Though worlds apart, she and Van retained some kind of connection. She could feel what he was feeling, if he was sad, angry, happy, tired. Van could also feel what she was feeling. But they couldn't tell each other why they were feeling that way, they couldn't communicate or express their feelings into words. They could just feel the emotion, without knowing the reason behind it. And whenever she felt that he was getting worried about her, she would just close her eyes and think of him, channeling her assurance. Then she could sense him smile, sometimes she could actually see him smile, his image almost real, tangible. But it would then quickly fade away. 

She loved Van. Very much. And he loved her too, in the same degree. But even this love of theirs couldn't change the fact that Van was not there, with her. And he never would be. Van couldn't possibly leave Gaea and Fanelia just to be with her. If she asked him, she knew in her heart that he would make the sacrifice but she wouldn't, she couldn't, not in a million years would she ask him of that. She wouldn't be selfish. Gaea was his home, he was a King, they need him there. Just like Earth was her home. Van would never ask her to leave everything behind --- her family, her friends, her life, all things familiar --- just to be with him in Gaea either. If she would go with him, she had to make the choice on her own. So, the only way they could ever be together was for one of them to make that sacrifice. And she didn't know if either of them could do that just for the sake of being with each other. 

With Maru, life wouldn't be that complicated. There wouldn't be a need for any sacrifices. Maybe except for the fact that she had to sacrifice Van but that would be a different matter altogether. With Maru, she could stay here on Earth and they could lead normal lives. She would eventually learn to love him more though deep down, she was certain that she wouldn't be able to love him as much as she loved Van. Van would forever be her soulmate, her eternal love and not even living in different worlds or getting married to another would change that fact. But at least she and Maru were friends. 

Hitomi caught herself. "Am I really considering on marrying Maru? Am I giving up on the possibility of me and Van?" 

Suddenly, her head jerked towards the window of her apartment when she saw a pillar of light in the night sky. Her heartbeat ran faster as she stood up and ran out in the direction of the park just in front of her apartment building. 

  
  


Van looked around and seeing the unfamiliar surroundings, he confirmed to himself that he really was in the Mystic Moon. There were trees and benches scattered around the place, also some tall candlesticks that gave light, illuminating the whole place. He looked up and saw only one moon hanging from the night sky. He suddenly whirled around, his hand on the hilt of his sword when he heard running footsteps from behind. 

His stance relaxed when he saw a girl with familiar cropped brown hair running towards him. Though he knew who it was, it still didn't prepare him when they met face to face. Sure, they shared this some form of connection and he could always see her whenever he closed his eyes and thought of her. But it was like a fleeting dream, a mirage. He could see her but he couldn't touch her. It was different now. This was real. She was real. His full faculties could sense every facet of her being, from the way she smelled, like jasmines and lilacs, the way she took in a deep breath when she saw him, the way her beautiful green eyes widened with surprise which was immediately replaced with joy, to the way her jeans and fitted shirt clung to her body. She was taller than the last time he saw her, her body filling out at the right places, her face more womanly. She was remarkably beautiful. And if his eyes narrowed, his lips compressed a little, it was because his heart stopped for a moment at the mere sight of her. 

  
  


Hitomi knew instinctively whom she would find when she reached the light, nevertheless she was speechless when she saw him whirl around to face her. She stopped running and slowly walked towards him, stopping only when he was just 4-5 feet away. She solemnly drank in his features, her eyes never leaving his. She had this fear that if she dared look away even for a second, he would vanish right on the spot. But she knew that her fear was groundless. She could sense him, she could feel him, body and soul. _He's here. He's finally here, _ her mind chanted. He was the same, yet not. He had the same wild, spiky, bluish-black hair, brown eyes and lean built that she knew so well. He was also wearing his trademarked red shirt, light-brown jeans and boots. And he still wore the pendant that she gave him. But he had grown taller, maybe 5'11", towering over her mere 5'5". He looked like a boy, but also a man, his boyish good looks tempered by the wearied wisdom evident in his eyes. He was a picture of a man who carried the burden and responsibility of ruling casually and with dignity on his shoulders. He clearly was a King, in every sense of the word and evidently an excellent soldier too, with the way that he held himself. But whatever he was, whatever he became, he would always be Van to her. Her Van. 

"Van," Hitomi breathed. 

"Hitomi," Van acknowledged, his eyes boring into hers. 

"Van!" she exclaimed as she flung herself to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face on his chest. 

Van nozzled her head with his face as he hugged her tight, his arms wrapped around her slim waist. He waited 6 years for this! Never in his wildest dreams would he know how extraordinary having her in his arms really was. It felt so good, it felt so damn right. 

Hitomi looked up and saw him gazing down at her lovingly. She smiled. Van couldn't resist any longer. He slowly leaned down towards her, both of their eyes closed the second their lips touched. Van savored her lips gently at first, nibbling at her lower lip then with increasing intensity he made their kiss deeper, warmer, more passionate. Hitomi felt her knees weaken and if Van hadn't been holding her close, she swore she would have crumpled to the ground. They continued plundering each other's mouths, channeling all the pent-up love and passion they felt for each other all these years but weren't able to express. It was just right for their first kiss to be this perfect, this memorable. When they pulled apart, both of them were out of breath. Settling her head on his chest once again, she asked, "Van, why are you here? Not that I mind though. I'm happy that you're here. I really am. But I know that there's something more to this than just a happy reunion."

Van sighed and led her to a nearby bench. "I came here to tell you something, Hitomi," he began to say when they were both seated. "My advisors had been badgering me to marry and have an heir since I turned 18. And after a month of endless discussions with them, I realized the fact that I couldn't continue on brushing away the matter. So I agreed. I'm going to get married." 

Hitomi looked away. "So that's why you've been feeling angry, sad and helpless this past month." 

"And you're feeling the same since last night. Why?"

Hitomi looked back at him. "Someone just proposed to me last night." 

It was Van's turn to look away. "What did you say?" he asked softly. 

"That I'll think about it." 

Van was somewhat glad that she didn't accept immediately. But she didn't refuse either. _Maybe she had some feelings for this guy,_ he thought. Summoning all of his courage, he asked, "Do you love him?" 

"Not as much as I love you." 

Van jerked his head back towards her when he heard her words. He gently caressed her cheek with his hand. Hitomi closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of his hand on her flesh. "As I would never love anyone as much as I love you. Even if she's my Queen and the mother of my child," Van told her softly but with brutal honesty. 

Hitomi sighed. It was a no win situation, it was a cruel destiny. The future surely held a sad life for both of them. When she opened her eyes, she said, "So, this is goodbye then." 

"Not if you don't want it to be."

Reddish-brown met emerald-green as the two gazed into each other's eyes. Hitomi clearly understood what Van meant. Their future and happiness--- it was all up to her. 

  
  


************************************************

  
  


It was a joyous day for the Fanelians. For today, their King was going to marry the Princess from the Kingdom of Larazibal, Princess Larea. At last, they were finally going to have a Queen. And soon, a crowned prince.

Van sat on is throne, clad in his royal regalia with the exception of his crown, as he watched the procession of the whole bridal entourage dispassionately. The room came to a hush when the bride entered and started walking towards the King. Princess Larea was stunning. She had curly blonde hair and azure blue eyes. She was wearing a grayish-silver wedding gown with a long trail. In her hand, she held a bouquet of roses of all colors --- red, blue, yellow, orange, pink, peach, white and black. Allen, Celena, Melerna, Dryden, Eries, Merle, Gadeth and the rest of the Crusade's crew, even Prince Chid, together with the whole assembly stared with awe at the future Queen of Fanelia. She would fit the title very well, seeing that she was every inch a Queen. Well, Van had made a good decision. He might not love this woman but at least he picked the perfect Queen. 

Van, who either didn't have eyes to see how stunning his bride was or just plain ignored the whole assembly's reaction, wearily stood up from his throne and went to his bride when she was just 5 feet away. He offered an arm and led the Princess in front. The two of them stood side by side, facing a monk. 

"Fellow Fanelians and friends, we are gathered here to celebrate the union of King Van Slanzar de Fanel with Princess Larea Callisto de Lara," the monk said. "If anyone here had reasons for this union to not take place, please state so now or forever hold your peace." Silence. Seeing that there were no objections, the monk signaled for the King's two deputy head advisors to bring in the King's crown and the Queen's crown. The monk took out two dragon rings from each of the crowns and placed them on a small pillow. The head advisor then entered, carrying a goblet shaped like an opened mouth of a white dragon. The goblet contained the ceremonial wedding brew, which the King would sip then pass on to his wife in a perfunctory kiss after the ceremony ended. The two had to exchange wedding vows first, placing the dragon rings on each other's fingers then the monk would put the crowns on their heads before announcing that the two were wed.

The monk held out the pillow to the King. Van took one of the rings with his right hand, the other holding his bride's left hand. He took a deep breath then started saying his wedding vows. "Princess Larea, I, Van Slanzar de Fanel, King of Fanelia…." His voice trailed off. "I… Princess Larea, I… I can't. I'm sorry," Van said before running out of the throne room. He continued running, never looking back even once. When he got outside the Palace, he held his pendant tightly then whispered, "Hitomi. I want to see Hitomi again." Immediately after saying those words, a pillar of light appeared and engulfed him, lifting him up. After a few seconds, he was gone. 

Van found himself in front of a large structure with a bell tower. _Hitomi. She must be inside, _ he thought. Van ran inside. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a large assembly of people sitting on the pews and staring solemnly in front of them.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride," the priest said. 

Van couldn't really understand what the priest was saying but he could make an educated guess. It was a wedding. And the priest just wed the couple standing in front him. Van's eyes widened when he saw the groom lift up the bride's veil. "Hitomi!" he yelled. Hitomi didn't seem to have heard him, as she smiled at the man and their lips met in a sweet kiss. "Hitomi! NOOOOOOOO!" 

  
  


Van jolted into a sitting position, his whole body trembling. His hands let go of the blanket wrapped around the lower part of his torso that he had been gripping when he woke up as his eyes adjusted in the dark, focusing on the grayish-silver wedding gown, his own royal regalia and other articles of clothing littered on the floor of his bedchamber. He remembered now. He just got married today, thereby fulfilling his promise to his advisors, as well as his duty to his people. And this was his wedding night. He felt a gentle hand on his bare shoulders. 

"Van, what's the matter?" his wife asked. 

He turned around and saw her sitting up, her breasts bare for him to see as their blanket only covered the lower part of her body. Her short brown hair was in disarray, from sleep and from what they did earlier (it was their wedding night afterall), and her green eyes were gazing at him with concern. 

"I thought I lost you. I thought I lost you for good, that you didn't decide to come back with me to Gaea to be my Queen." 

Hitomi gathered him in her arms. Van rested his head on her breasts as she gently stroked his hair. "You didn't lose me. And you never will. I'll stay here by your side forever. Just like what I promised earlier in my wedding vows." 

Van looked up to her. "No regrets?" he asked, knowing the fact that she ended up making the sacrifice so they could be together. 

Hitomi kissed his nose. "No regrets." 

Van gave her a small smile then captured her lips in a searing kiss. He fulfilled his duty to the people by getting married, true, but getting married to Hitomi made him fulfill his need to be with her, and only her, forever. As his lips traveled down her neck and their hands roamed each other's bodies, he couldn't help sighing in contentment. At long last, he had his love, his heart, his pillar of light and strength with him. Where she belonged. 


End file.
